The Author Meditation Background

First of all, I am Chinese educated and forgive me if my English grammar is terrible. I am a qualified engineer but not a doctor. I started meditation at the age of 17. You might ask why I learn meditation at such early stage in my life? Off course, everything happened with reason. I suffered joint pain regularly especially during raining time. I was shocked when doctor confirmed that I had gout problem and can't be cured. I have to suffer pain for whole life and worse thing is that no medicine available can stop it or cure it... terrible feeling..

I prayed to Buddha for help as I am a strong believer of Buddhism...Finally I found it....

My sister in law's eldest sister is a nun and given me a book - The Buddha Enlighten Way". In this book I found out that Buddha gain his enlightenment through meditation. He doesn't believe the teaching of Yogis or Brahman at that time. He manages to understand the law of universal through mindfulness during his deep meditation. Buddha quietly sat under the Bodhi tree for several days without any movement or eating. He merely sat there and listened to voice of the nature and feels the breeze and wind flow through his body. He listen to the song of the birds, animals, water flowing....the best music in this world that no musician can create...Then I ask myself, if Buddha can do it without a master, I shall be able to do it too as Buddha had told his disciples and students - if you want to know what I discover ( Dharma), please practice meditation with neutral mind and compassionate heart...one day you too will find it...

From that day onward, I started to meditate every night before I go to sleep .... NOT AN EASY JOB TO SIT FOR 10 MINUTES......My body pain and mind wondering like monkey...one second this and another second another though arise....why why why....I asked myself many time...I was confused.. totally confused who am I? Do I own myself and can I do what I like? I felt somebody inside me that is more powerful than me that over ride my order?.....searching and searching...be patient.....calm down my friend...... my mind like wave in the sea, non-stop flowing....when it going to stop?

Disturbance arises during the first few months of meditation. To my surprise, I thought of mind and body problems are enough for me to handle. Not so simple! I was attacked by mosquito every time I sit down and meditate. My god, what happen to me? Big question mark in my mind? What have I done in previous life and this life? Am I a bad guy - killing and did a lot of bad things before? Otherwise, why should I be bitten by the mosquitos!

But Buddha teaches us to observe 5 precepts - NO KILLING is first precept! I have no choice and can't break the precept. I have to follow his teaching and I should believe him totally. Then I said to myself, sometime I take a meal, I take away a life of an animal. Now I feed the mosquitos for a meal with my blood and for sure I wouldn’t die ya! If by doing that, I can clear my debt on killing, why not?  I think still worth it as I don't kill a life of insect any more. As Buddha always treat all living being with compassionate heart as all living being got Buddha Hood. Instead of previously killing, I learn to be more compassionate. In mind, I think it is better to repay back the life of animal which I had eaten in this life. One bite to pay back one life of animal or living being which I might kill before... oh mosquitos, please bite me more to clear my debt (bad karma)...

The mosquitoes bites last for almost 3 months. It was not easy to control and calm down with this disturbance. But strange enough, one day I suddenly realized that I can sat peacefully without any more attack from the mosquitoes. And my kneecap pain and numb also disappeared.  I can felt contented happiness. The disturbance of body has gone. I realized that I had passed the first stage of meditation- the body feeling and reaction.( mindfulness on body). I can control my 5 senses and can stop or filter outside world energy from disturbing inner world especially during meditation.

Photos : Some of my students from Malaysia and China. Some of them  are of cancer patients and other are insomnia; high blood pressure patient and high stress patient and some are devotees of the buddhist temple.